What Women Want and Need in a Man

I'm talking to you, Guys!!

Women first want a man that's a gentleman. Some men have the misconception that being a gentleman means you are soft. It doesn't. Women are beating themselves up trying to find a "Good" man. Prove to us there are some out there. I'm going to tell you what women want ok? I know it's a lot of angry, bitter, rude, and ungrateful women out there, but there are also a lot of women who are not.

1. Open the Door for Us ( I know there are rude women out there that don't say thank you, but there are some that were raised with manners and appreciate the gesture)
2. Pull Out Our Chair- may sound "old school" but it works.
3. Compliment Us, for example "You look nice today. " or "That was a good question you asked in class today." or " I like your hair, that way". ( Please don't give us the up and down look, while you are giving us a compliment. Please try to keep the compliment non-sexual.)
4. Help Us When You See Us Struggling with Something, such as getting on the bus with a baby stroller, get your butt up and help, when our car brakes down, instead of blowing your horn, pull over and see if you can be of assistance, help us with the groceries. If we need help financially, help us out.
5. Have GOD in Your Life- No Atheist please...
6.  Make a Decision! We hate when we ask you "What you want for dinner"? or" What do you want to do tonight?" you response is " Don't matter, whatever".
7. Talk and Listen to Us -  Call us. Text us.We like to talk, we certainly like it when there is a two way conversation. Please come with some real intellectual topics please. We like humor, we also like to talk about sexual things, but there's a time and place for that. Don't make that the first conversation.
8. Don't Lie to Us- Please stop the Perpetration! If you don't have it, don't say that you do. We WILL find out sooner or later.
9. Pay for Dates- A good woman would not try to drain you. If you are honest about your financial status in the beginning then we won't expect much. There is a such thing as a cheap date. We are looking for romance. Candle lite Picnics, walks in the park or the beach, going to a cafe for coffee or ice cream, a matinee, a romantic camping trip.
10. Acknowledge Special Days- Birthdays, Anniversaries, other Holidays
11. Buy Us Something- I'm not saying spend your whole pay check. We like flowers,cards, jewelry, or clothes. Make us feel special.
12. Be the Man- Women are tired of being the man and the woman in the relationship. We want to feel secure and protected. We want a man to say " I got this, don't you worry". We love Masculinity.
13. Take Care and Be There for Your Kids- Financially, Emotionaly,and Physically.
14. Tell the Truth How You Feel About Us- We hate to try figure out. If you Love her!, tell her! If you just want to be friends, say that!, if you don't want her anymore, say it! and actually leave her alone. Don't call her anymore. We hate mixed messages.
15. NO GAMES- We are not in High School anymore.
16. Punctuality-  Can't stand a man, that's always late for EVERYTHING.

I can go on and on, but I'm going to stop here. Please feel free to comment.

A Single Mother's Experience-To be continued...

Being a single mother is the hardest job in the world for a mother who is actually doing it. Most of us are in it alone. People have said to me, " You brought this life on yourself" or "You should have kept your legs closed". I understand all that. But it still makes me mad to hear it. Sometimes I think about past situations in my life before I had kids and after. How I took my life for granted. Had all the freedom in the world, and didn't do anything, but chase after some worthless Negro. Who could care less about me or my future. I don't call my kids a punishment or a mistake. However they are the consequences of not thinking wisely.


 I went from going out when ever I please, eating whatever, and buying who knows what, to staying at home with the baby, starving to death because the children come first, and working two jobs or odd jobs to pay for childcare which may I add was a $1,000 a month for two children. Couldn't get a dime in child support. In fact I haven't seen this man since May 13, 2005. My(His) children are 6 and 9. Punk A** found out I was pregnant again, and promptly hit the road.


I remember the days when I was without a car, and I had to push a double stroller up the street in the snow, rain, or blazing heat to go somewhere. I was curse him out in my head, " Dirty Bastard is driving in an air conditioned car while I'm sweating my butt off walking up these hills in Lithonia. I literally did walk my butt off. I lost 40 lbs after I had my daughter. I remember trying to get on the Marta bus, and having men stare at me, but wouldn't assist me. In addition to that the bus driver rushing me, but would help me either. I got to the point that I started carrying my kids on my back, just so I wouldn't have to break down a stroller.


People have the wrong idea about single mothers. We are not easy, or desperate for a "Baby Daddy" for our fatherless children, uneducated. We have goals and dreams. I understand that some of us give the others a bad name. But we are not the same. I'm not on Section 8, I don't live off the system. To be honest life was easier when I was doing that. I was living in an apartment with subsidized rent, I had foodstamps, medicaid, and they would send me a check to pay the utilities. But I wanted more. I could keep living like that. I got a job, moved, went back to school and tried to better myself.


Now don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking anyone who chooses to live off the system, and these days most people have to. I would kill for Section 8 right now! But I needed my independence. I got tired of telling DFACS all my business. I got fed up with them scrutinizing me like I'm some lowlife, when the case workers are on assistance as well. But some of them try to act like they are better than you.


I'm doing okay now, still going through the storm, but at least I have my Dignity, and I have GOD.

Don't Hate Me Because I'm Beautiful-A Rant

I'm 30 years old about to be 31 on May 25. It took me a long time to realize that I am beautiful. Not because of my physical attributes (Even though I ain't bad to look at, if I do say so myself), But because I'm a good person, and I'm good to people. You are going to have Haters, whether you are doing good or bad, somebody always has something negative to say. You are going to have people that hate you for your youth, your outgoing personality, your job,your car, your house, your life and even if you are actually an attractive person. Just tell them like this pastor said  "F U"! It's not the "F U" that most people think. He meant "I FORGIVE YOU". So forgive these people and move on, they are the ones that have the problems or the self esteem issues not you. However if you do, here are some ways to build your self esteem: You need to like yourself first before anyone else can like you.

•  ALWAYS SMILE AND STAND UP STRAIGHT WITH YOUR HEAD HELD HIGH (Don't ever let the Haters see you down, they thrive on your unhappiness)
• Focus on your achievements and even if you failed try to work out what you did right and how you could succeed next time.
•  Remember that these people do not pay your bills, so who cares what the think? 
•  I advise you not to be too competitive or compare yourself with others. Be yourself and accept that life is not a race against others but your self confidence depends on you and your personal wants and needs.
• STOP PUTTING YOURSELF DOWN!!
• Dress sharp ( Do people even say "sharp" anymore, anyway you know what I mean).
• Do your hair,get a haircut, a shave, slap on a wig, or get some weave.
• Now, this is a hard one...Refuse to engage in backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, you’ll become well liked and build self confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.
• Speak up, you are not a rug!
• Last but not least and I'm talking to myself also, Get your Butt to a Gym!

Top 5 Things you Should Not be doing when you are in a Relationship

Number 1, you should not be telling others that you are single when you know good and well you have a boyfriend or girlfriend.

As a matter of fact let me give you some definitions (Sorry for those who hate to read)

Single-An individual person or thing rather than part of a pair or a group. (Now I also know that single means Not Married, but give me a break people you know what single I'm talking about!)

Boyfriend- a frequent or regular male companion in a romantic or sexual relationship.

Girlfriend-a female friend with whom a man or woman is romantically or sexually involved; sweetheart.

Relationship-The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.

Number 2, Should not be a member of a dating site such as "Tagged,BootyCall,BlackPeopleMeet,or Zoosk to name a few.( You have someone, you should not be looking for another unless you are finished with the first. Unless you want to end up with busted windows)

Number 3, No other male or female should be texting, emailing,sending a letter or calling he or she on the phone, unless it's about business,a family member, or it's a friend(not an EX, unless you have children, and even then say what you have to say and end the conversation)

Number 4, You should not be having a meal,a movie, or going out in anyway with anybody that is not your girlfriend or boyfriend, friend, co-worker, business partner, or family member.

Number 5, Last but not least, staying out late and not communicating either by text or phone call with your boyfriend or girlfriend. ( Communication is the key. You could save yourself an argument if you would just call or text)

What about your Friends?

I've met quite a few people in my life that I can truly call "friend", most people fall into that "associate" category. Here are the differences between "Friends"and "Associates". Check it out and you decide who you are dealing with...

Qualities to look for in :FRIENDS

1. Reliability-You can call them (almost) anytime to talk, get a ride or just hang out.
2. Generosity-Friends that are not stingy with their money or time.
3. Care and Interest-It's no all about them, they care about your Bday,show concern during tough times
4. Humility-Able to say "I'm sorry", or "I forgive you".
5. Sense of Humor-Able to take a joke.
6. Similar Morals-Make sure you both agree not to cross the line
7. Similar Interest-Even though opposites attract, it would be nice to have something in common.
8. Flexibility-an open mind
9. Respect-Does not put you down, but puts you in check...respectfully.
10. and of course have FUN!!-builds friendships that last a lifetime.

ASSOCIATES

1. Feels no responsibility for you and is unconcerned about you.
2. An associate is not trying to help you out. In fact, they may hide opportunities from you, because they don't want you to be more successful than them. A friend is your cheerleader.
3.  If you are shy about sharing the personal details of your life with them, they are probably more associate than friend.
4. Those who aren’t true friends may take your kindness for weakness. If you give of your time and treasures and never get anything in return, you are probably dealing with an associate and not a real friend.

Never depend on Someone Else for Your Happiness!

Hey guys!, that includes you too men. I'm writing this blog for everyone to see, and feel free to comment.It's a blog after all. Since this is my first posting I wanted to write about something that I have been guilty of, such as feeling like I have to have a boyfriend to feel complete. I know he bible says "no man should be alone", or something like that. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. I had to realize that it's okay to be single. It's actually less stressful. You never have to worry about if your bf/gf is being faithful,nor do you have to argue about who left the toilet seat up, or who drank all the kool-aid and put the pitcher back...empty of course. That's arguments you have with your children, for God's sake.

Top 5 benefits to being single for men and women are:

• You only have to worry about yourself (and your kids, if you have any)
• Sleep through the night with no snoring or blanket hogging, plus you have the whole bed to yourself!
• Coming and Going as you Damn well please (Some of you all do this even if you are not single)
• Dating as much or as little as your heart or body desires ;)
• All the food in the refrigerator is yours!, including the kool-aid...

Now, it wouldn't be fair if I didn't tell you the Top 5 benefits to be not single for men and women are:

• Never have to go out to get some lovin'
• A travel companion
• In some cases the man or woman becomes a maid or cook for their bf/gf
• A Confidant
• Financially helps one another in some cases

But please remember you were okay before you met this person, and if they leave, you will still be okay. Now I can go on and on, but I know people don't lik t read these days. So, go ahead and comment. Say what yo like, there will be no judgement here.