Being a single mother is the hardest job in the world for a mother who is actually doing it. Most of us are in it alone. People have said to me, " You brought this life on yourself" or "You should have kept your legs closed". I understand all that. But it still makes me mad to hear it. Sometimes I think about past situations in my life before I had kids and after. How I took my life for granted. Had all the freedom in the world, and didn't do anything, but chase after some worthless Negro. Who could care less about me or my future. I don't call my kids a punishment or a mistake. However they are the consequences of not thinking wisely.
I went from going out when ever I please, eating whatever, and buying who knows what, to staying at home with the baby, starving to death because the children come first, and working two jobs or odd jobs to pay for childcare which may I add was a $1,000 a month for two children. Couldn't get a dime in child support. In fact I haven't seen this man since May 13, 2005. My(His) children are 6 and 9. Punk A** found out I was pregnant again, and promptly hit the road.
I remember the days when I was without a car, and I had to push a double stroller up the street in the snow, rain, or blazing heat to go somewhere. I was curse him out in my head, " Dirty Bastard is driving in an air conditioned car while I'm sweating my butt off walking up these hills in Lithonia. I literally did walk my butt off. I lost 40 lbs after I had my daughter. I remember trying to get on the Marta bus, and having men stare at me, but wouldn't assist me. In addition to that the bus driver rushing me, but would help me either. I got to the point that I started carrying my kids on my back, just so I wouldn't have to break down a stroller.
People have the wrong idea about single mothers. We are not easy, or desperate for a "Baby Daddy" for our fatherless children, uneducated. We have goals and dreams. I understand that some of us give the others a bad name. But we are not the same. I'm not on Section 8, I don't live off the system. To be honest life was easier when I was doing that. I was living in an apartment with subsidized rent, I had foodstamps, medicaid, and they would send me a check to pay the utilities. But I wanted more. I could keep living like that. I got a job, moved, went back to school and tried to better myself.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking anyone who chooses to live off the system, and these days most people have to. I would kill for Section 8 right now! But I needed my independence. I got tired of telling DFACS all my business. I got fed up with them scrutinizing me like I'm some lowlife, when the case workers are on assistance as well. But some of them try to act like they are better than you.
I'm doing okay now, still going through the storm, but at least I have my Dignity, and I have GOD.
Excellent post!
ReplyDeleteHowever, you are the exception to the rule. You made a decision to not depend upon a government system in which in my opinion is crippling our communities and is a way out for those who do not have a desire to want better for themselves, let alone the children they bring into the world. You started off in the opposite direction, but then again, who hasn't? You are making a significant change and striving for betterment. I can appreciate and honor that. No one said it was going to be easy, but you are pushing towards your goals. Keep pushing, keep desiring for better. Understand that you do have people in your life that love you and your children and want to help you meet your goals. You don't have to do it alone.
In addition, I am one who does knocks people who choose to live off the system for the reasons I specified earlier. Because wise decisions were not made, and/or because many on the system have an "I don't care attitude", "I'm going to get mine", my taxes are ridiculous. That money for food stamps, Medicaid, and subsidized living, is not coming from the government, but from the pockets of those who do work hard and pay taxes. It's coming out of my pockets. I don't mind helping those who cannot help themselves, however for those who are clearly taking advantage, I have not respect for.
Keep pressing sis. The light is at the end of the tunnel. The race is not given to the swift, nor the strong, but to the one who endures to the end.
This is a wonderful post! I am going to share this with my single parent friend!
ReplyDeleteYou make me want to start blogging again! :)
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