What Women Want and Need in a Man

I'm talking to you, Guys!!

Women first want a man that's a gentleman. Some men have the misconception that being a gentleman means you are soft. It doesn't. Women are beating themselves up trying to find a "Good" man. Prove to us there are some out there. I'm going to tell you what women want ok? I know it's a lot of angry, bitter, rude, and ungrateful women out there, but there are also a lot of women who are not.

1. Open the Door for Us ( I know there are rude women out there that don't say thank you, but there are some that were raised with manners and appreciate the gesture)
2. Pull Out Our Chair- may sound "old school" but it works.
3. Compliment Us, for example "You look nice today. " or "That was a good question you asked in class today." or " I like your hair, that way". ( Please don't give us the up and down look, while you are giving us a compliment. Please try to keep the compliment non-sexual.)
4. Help Us When You See Us Struggling with Something, such as getting on the bus with a baby stroller, get your butt up and help, when our car brakes down, instead of blowing your horn, pull over and see if you can be of assistance, help us with the groceries. If we need help financially, help us out.
5. Have GOD in Your Life- No Atheist please...
6.  Make a Decision! We hate when we ask you "What you want for dinner"? or" What do you want to do tonight?" you response is " Don't matter, whatever".
7. Talk and Listen to Us -  Call us. Text us.We like to talk, we certainly like it when there is a two way conversation. Please come with some real intellectual topics please. We like humor, we also like to talk about sexual things, but there's a time and place for that. Don't make that the first conversation.
8. Don't Lie to Us- Please stop the Perpetration! If you don't have it, don't say that you do. We WILL find out sooner or later.
9. Pay for Dates- A good woman would not try to drain you. If you are honest about your financial status in the beginning then we won't expect much. There is a such thing as a cheap date. We are looking for romance. Candle lite Picnics, walks in the park or the beach, going to a cafe for coffee or ice cream, a matinee, a romantic camping trip.
10. Acknowledge Special Days- Birthdays, Anniversaries, other Holidays
11. Buy Us Something- I'm not saying spend your whole pay check. We like flowers,cards, jewelry, or clothes. Make us feel special.
12. Be the Man- Women are tired of being the man and the woman in the relationship. We want to feel secure and protected. We want a man to say " I got this, don't you worry". We love Masculinity.
13. Take Care and Be There for Your Kids- Financially, Emotionaly,and Physically.
14. Tell the Truth How You Feel About Us- We hate to try figure out. If you Love her!, tell her! If you just want to be friends, say that!, if you don't want her anymore, say it! and actually leave her alone. Don't call her anymore. We hate mixed messages.
15. NO GAMES- We are not in High School anymore.
16. Punctuality-  Can't stand a man, that's always late for EVERYTHING.

I can go on and on, but I'm going to stop here. Please feel free to comment.

A Single Mother's Experience-To be continued...

Being a single mother is the hardest job in the world for a mother who is actually doing it. Most of us are in it alone. People have said to me, " You brought this life on yourself" or "You should have kept your legs closed". I understand all that. But it still makes me mad to hear it. Sometimes I think about past situations in my life before I had kids and after. How I took my life for granted. Had all the freedom in the world, and didn't do anything, but chase after some worthless Negro. Who could care less about me or my future. I don't call my kids a punishment or a mistake. However they are the consequences of not thinking wisely.


 I went from going out when ever I please, eating whatever, and buying who knows what, to staying at home with the baby, starving to death because the children come first, and working two jobs or odd jobs to pay for childcare which may I add was a $1,000 a month for two children. Couldn't get a dime in child support. In fact I haven't seen this man since May 13, 2005. My(His) children are 6 and 9. Punk A** found out I was pregnant again, and promptly hit the road.


I remember the days when I was without a car, and I had to push a double stroller up the street in the snow, rain, or blazing heat to go somewhere. I was curse him out in my head, " Dirty Bastard is driving in an air conditioned car while I'm sweating my butt off walking up these hills in Lithonia. I literally did walk my butt off. I lost 40 lbs after I had my daughter. I remember trying to get on the Marta bus, and having men stare at me, but wouldn't assist me. In addition to that the bus driver rushing me, but would help me either. I got to the point that I started carrying my kids on my back, just so I wouldn't have to break down a stroller.


People have the wrong idea about single mothers. We are not easy, or desperate for a "Baby Daddy" for our fatherless children, uneducated. We have goals and dreams. I understand that some of us give the others a bad name. But we are not the same. I'm not on Section 8, I don't live off the system. To be honest life was easier when I was doing that. I was living in an apartment with subsidized rent, I had foodstamps, medicaid, and they would send me a check to pay the utilities. But I wanted more. I could keep living like that. I got a job, moved, went back to school and tried to better myself.


Now don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking anyone who chooses to live off the system, and these days most people have to. I would kill for Section 8 right now! But I needed my independence. I got tired of telling DFACS all my business. I got fed up with them scrutinizing me like I'm some lowlife, when the case workers are on assistance as well. But some of them try to act like they are better than you.


I'm doing okay now, still going through the storm, but at least I have my Dignity, and I have GOD.